Reaching Students for Christ he akonga ki nga akonga hei ara whakawhiti mo te Karaiti

A Fresh Start

Kavita Raj is an international student from Malaysia, just graduated from Victoria University with a BA in Psychology and Media studies.

I never believed in God. To me, it was like a folk story, or something that your parents talk about.  It was easy to just go with the flow and listen to what my parents told me to do. I went to a proper church service when I was 14. During the service, they invited us to write down prayer requests for them to pray for us. I wrote that I wanted to do well in the next year in my studies and to grow as a person. Interestingly enough, in the next year, towards the end of 2003, I did a reflection of my life and found that I had grown significantly as a person and I had done very well at school that year too. It was only much later, in retrospect, that I remembered that prayer request.

I used to carry a lot of emotional baggage that I felt was my responsibility to carry around.  A lot of burdens that I carried were a result of my upbringing from home. It affected my self-esteem and confidence so much that I began to think I was a mistake or even that I would be better off dead. For a very long time I carried those feelings around with me. Getting involved in co-curricular activities at school boosted my self-esteem and confidence but the emotional burdens of family, anger and bitterness did not leave me for a long time.

In 2007 I came to New Zealand. It was so refreshing to be in a new place away from troubles at home. I moved into Kia Maia, an international Christian hostel. Even though I wasn’t a Christian, I didn’t mind living in a Christian environment one bit. I saw the compassion, community, and connectedness with others which were lacking from my own home and life. Compassion in particular felt very alien to me but over time I became accustomed to it. In 2008 those old, bitter feelings returned from when I was younger and I started to lose trust in those around me. One night, when I was lying in bed, my roommate was talking to me.  As she was getting ready to sleep, her voice began to fade away. I heard a man’s voice speak into my left ear saying, ‘Come to me Kavita, Come to me Kavita, Come to me Kavita.’ I was totally creeped out! My roommate was still talking and I’m pretty sure she didn’t hear the voice, otherwise she would have stopped and asked. There were so many thoughts running through my head. I couldn’t sleep that night. I couldn’t stop thinking about that voice. It was slightly raspy but had the purest voice I had ever heard.

Later on, I started studying the Bible with Gina (Wellington Staff Worker) and as time went on, I became more curious about it. I wanted to understand the works and teachings of Jesus. As I did, I felt a gradual sense of inner peace grow over time from what I was learning.  As a result of all these things, I concluded it had been Jesus who had spoken to me. My cousin, who believes everyone should do what feels right for them, encouraged me to follow Christianity because of my convictions. I started attending church, and Bible studies complemented what I was hearing from the sermons. I’d leave church feeling peaceful. During that time I was still debating and wrestling about Christianity.  Whilst reading the Bible, I felt I was learning how to be a wholesome person. Following one morning service, I left that day feeling a massive pull on my heart toward saying yes to becoming a Christian. I immediately called my cousin, who said if it feels right in your heart then you know it’s right.  Going to church again that evening I knew I couldn’t carry my baggage alone anymore. I opened my heart to Jesus, and went up for prayer. I cried because I didn’t realise how much baggage I was carrying.  A huge portion of it was taken off me while they prayed. I felt free of bondage. I needed to know that someone was walking with me, forever.  Prayer was such an important part of connecting me with God. He has given me opportunities to grab hold of and introduced me to some amazing people who have brought positive influence into my life. My life is better and I am still growing as a Christian. I'm learning the essence of Jesus' character, and applying it to myself as well. Ultimately, God has given me a fresh start.

Kavita Raj